Backstreet Boys [read: code namez for the boyz in my life]

Oh my god, they're back again.
Oh my god, they’re back again.

I love the Backstreet Boys. Who doesn’t love the Backstreet Boys? I mean, one time I was driving with my dad and the radio was playing 90s hits mixed with rap songs (Florida radio stations). It’s a normal day, the sun is shining, we’re going to Costco, when suddenly I hear my dad singing along.

“Quit playing games with my heart. With my heart.” (emphatic man voice overlaying the original track)

That, my friends, is what one calls a defining moment. I have since deduced that everyone loves the Backstreet Boys.

As such, I’ve decided to use this boy band love of mine to describe the boys I encounter (good and bad) via code name. Each Boy will be described from my extensive research [read: online quizzes and People magazine] by personality. These Boys will appear in my blog whenever I talk about guys that exist in my life (though it’d be great if this overlapped and the real Backstreet Boys showed up, pray for me) based on the Boy name I give them.

I meet a guy, hypothetically, in real life who’s named Quentin? Well he sounds more like Nick Carter, so Nick I shall call him. And if there are more guys who carry those personalities, and we have many Nicks, refer to them by number [i.e. Nick 1, Nick 2, Nick, 3, etc]. If the system gets too complicated, we may have to add ‘N Sync and One Direction to the list, but we will see.

V excited for this system. Here are the boyz:

  • A.J. ‘Bad Boy’: tall, dark & handsome, relatively quirky, edgy so he’s always a surprise (wants to take you cliff jumping early on, and it raises concerns but you go anyways), exciting & adventurous, potentially enjoys cooking but probably has a motorcycle and talks about that instead, most likely will convince you to get matching tattoos and you’ll always have that (or tattoo removal, thank you modern medicine)
  • Nick ‘The Heartthrob’: most likely blonde, dances really well, the guy who wins the Homecoming Game but also whisks the girl away (think A Cinderella Story), he’s the guy everyone’s drawn to, and enjoys classic romantic dates like long walks on the beach with candlelit dinners and a small dog that brings over flowers to you as you take a boat back down a river in France (too far?)
  • Howie ‘The Sweetheart’: could be part Irish (the most redeeming of all qualities), brings you soup when you’re sick, old-fashioned, good-listener, actually cares about your happiness genuinely, will watch When Harry Met Sally with you, enjoys friend dates and text conversation because he probably gets sweaty in real life… but it’s cute
  • Kevin ‘The Older Man’: strong features (maybe facial hair, no solo mustache because that is a red flag), mysterious & confident, always knows your order at dinner and the bar [read: fettucine and mojitos, or pad thai and Guinness, depending on my mood], wears impeccably-tailored suits (my friends just responded with, “mmm suits” as I wrote this), has it together in a non-intimidating way, the one you want to call “Mr. Something”
  • Brian ‘Boy Next Door’: kinda reminds you of Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S., so he’s funny, down to earth, also sarcastic and charismatic, he may have a keen interest in a really small subject of academia or obscure pop culture [read: geek], you sometimes have to differentiate between just being friends or more, so this one is often confusing (hence the Monica and Chandler saga for 5 seasons)

We’ll see how this goes, might need more boy band members, but for now, Backstreet’s Back, Alright!

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